Andrew Miller: Pink Floyd provides a cautionary tale for new generation of gym bunnies obsessed with steroids

I was listening to Pink Floyd and pondering biochemistry as I peered blankly at the scruffy bloke in the mirror. Not the barber this time, but the gym — I rotate through both on a similar ragged frequency. An efficient woman on the bench next to me had just completed a set with weights significantly larger than mine. The sound of my male ego deflating like a sad little whoopee cushion was masked by David Gilmour’s soaring guitar. Gender assumptions are difficult to overturn. Let me ask you this — do healthy premenopausal women produce more estrogen, or testosterone? Women produce many times more circulating testosterone than estrogen. Sure, they produce less testosterone than men do from our furious little trouser factories, and estrogen’s active form — estradiol — is potent at lower concentrations, but men also have to make significant amounts of estrogen to remain healthy, for example for bone density. The enzyme aromatase converts testosterone to estrogen. The sex hormones never have been a binary system, it’s all about balance and relativity. We must cast aside simplistic notions in order to properly understand people, especially women with perimenopausal symptoms who still get fobbed off. Then there are the young men who land in GP’s offices with gynecomastia — man boobs due to increased testosterone conversion to estrogen — acne, shrunken testes and liver damage. Illicit testosterone use among young males is rising, as they are jostled by their peers, social media and fading optimism in the real estate and job markets. They want ripped abs and bigger pecs — something they can control. Broscience, broadcast on trainer podcasts, and compounded bootleg gym drugs feed a huge market for muscle manipulation. Anabolic steroids and stimulants hitch a ride with protein supplements from manbag to manbag without any boring safety checks for poisonous contaminants and unhealthy active ingredients. There is a lack of respect and regard for the dangers, unironically fed by the mood-altering effects of artificially elevated testosterone levels. Even with medical uses for TGA approved drugs, there are access issues. While there are eight testosterone medications on the subsidised Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme for men who meet criteria, there is currently a Federal Court challenge underway after PBS advisors rejected the one testosterone product for women with a perimenopausal indication. The outcome is being watched closely by many who live in a hormonally imbalanced world. A strong contender for the anaesthetist’s hymn is Pink Floyd’s song Comfortably Numb — “Just a little pinprick There’ll be no more But you may feel a little sick Can you stand up? I do believe it’s working, good That’ll keep you going through the show Come on, it’s time to go.” I have been known to play that song in the operating theatre, and it’s on the draft playlist for my funeral. “There is no pain, you are receding.” The lyrics were inspired by Roger Waters’ experiences upon being injected with “heavy tranquilizers” to quell stomach pains so he could perform at a 1977 concert in Philadelphia. The night didn’t go well apparently, but he survived to write a song about it. Pink Floyd expressed frustration that people naturally assumed they abused LSD when creating their lysergic tracks, but they had been scared off most drugs except alcohol, after witnessing the sad demise of their original frontman, Syd Barrett. As they gained popularity in 1967 his disabling mental health struggles were dramatically exacerbated by LSD and amphetamines. He lost his place in the band, along with his way in life. Waters and Gilmour ran out of patience for one another’s genius during the recording of Comfortably Numb — to say their relationship soured from there would be egregious understatement. More recently they traded insults on social media but still share the estimated $USD 1.5 million annual royalties from that song alone. I think I’ll work on my obvious limitations without illicit drugs. Getting humbled in the gym provides ample numb comfort for now.