Lorna MacGregor: Let’s celebrate seeking help as Lifeline WA received record calls last year

If you were to hear today that someone had died by suicide, what do you think your response might be?

Whether we’re conscious of it or not, there’s a stigma attached to mental health distress and thoughts of suicide. And this stigma is preventing people from seeking help.

There’s still a perception that suicide is something that impacts other people, yet about a third of Australians know someone who has died by suicide, or attempted suicide, in the past 12 months.

Suicide is part of the human condition. It’s a natural human response to overwhelming suffering.

Any one of our us, our family, our friends, our co-workers or neighbours, could find ourselves spiralling into suicidal distress, faced with more adversity than we can bear.

So the words we use when we talk about suicide are hugely important. They send signals — intended or not — to others about how “acceptable” it is to open up and reach out for help.

News that someone in the public eye has taken their own life is quickly followed by comments such as “Why didn’t they get help?” or “How could they do that to their family?”

All too often we hear people responding with judgment rather than with compassion.

The question should be: What can we do more of as a community to help people reach out when they’re in despair, before they reach breaking point?

I like to think that we can build a community safety net; a culture in which people feel safe enough to express their thoughts and we have the ability to support them through their distress.

Crisis services such as Lifeline WA are a big part of the picture. But we all need to understand that life is difficult and life is challenging and any one of us can find ourselves in suicidal distress.

Understanding this helps us normalise talking about suicide.

Suicidal thoughts and mental health challenges need to be talked about in the same way we talk about other human frailties.

We need to create a culture change whereby we celebrate help-seeking; where we go from silence and judgment to support and compassion.

By building a community safety net we make help visible, accessible and non-judgmental, with a shared sense of responsibility. If we sense someone in our life isn’t their usual self, we reach out and ask them if they’re OK.

We listen without judgment. We make them feel as safe talking about their mental health struggles as they might do talking about their physical ailments.

Let’s start seeing more opportunities to build a community safety net against suicide.

Community isn’t just where people live. It’s also where people come together and feel a sense of connection and sharing.

Isn’t a book club its own little community? A men’s shed? A sports team? A friendship group?

Workplaces are prime examples of communities where we can build a culture of reaching out and a strong sense of connection and support.

You don’t have to be an expert to help someone in emotional despair. Being compassionate and extending that compassion is the first step.

The second step is helping someone to get help.

Everyone can encourage someone to seek help, such as suggesting they talk to their GP or reminding them that Lifeline is there for them 24/7.

An easy and practical way to help someone is having 13 11 14 saved in your phone so the Lifeline number is always on hand.

Yes, Lifeline is there for crisis intervention, but 80 per cent of our calls are about suicide prevention. They’re conversations with people who may not be in crisis, but they are distressed.

You don’t have to be suicidal to call Lifeline, and neither do you have to be in distress.

A lot of our callers feel stressed and overwhelmed. Some feel deeply lonely. Others call because they want to know how to help someone who is in distress.

Each time someone calls Lifeline and reaches out for help it’s a reason to be thankful.

This year Lifeline WA has supported 163,644 conversations, an increase of 21 per cent on the previous year.

That’s not alarming. It is to be celebrated. Why? Because it reflects research showing that people are becoming more likely to reach out for help.

We are beginning to make headway, slowly eroding the stigma around help-seeking and talking about suicide, but we can do more.

Young people are leading the way, with research showing that not only are they more likely to reach out, but they’re also more likely to reach out earlier.

That is to be applauded.

Together let’s build on this shift in thinking. Let’s send a strong message that it really is OK to ask for help.

Let’s choose our words wisely and change the narrative once and for all.

Lorna MacGregor is the chief executive of Lifeline WA

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636